The Rules for Successful Living

There’s that moment that sometimes happens when you realise all the advice you’ve ever being given was wrong: All those people you’d listened to, telling you how to win at the game of life, sharing what to do and when to do it, are revealed to be just as lost as you feel you are. Suddenly, like a curtain falling away, you see that no one that follows the ways of the world really knows what they are doing — that they’re all scared and lost — and you see that even the best worldly advice leads to good which is short-lasting at best. But because most people anchored in the world (which is most people) spend a huge of amount of their energy trying to look good for the world, talking the talk like Oz’s wizard — so many people just don’t see beyond the curtain. This attempt to look good for the world furthers the lie and the confusion that “they” know what they’re doing and you should listen to “them” despite them too living a life of mild mediocrity.

But there is good news coming.

I remember having that similarly Nietzsche-like realisation. In a split-second I saw it clearly, the advisors that were more lost than I was. From friends to business experts to teachers to bosses to thought leaders — most of what they said — all of what they said — might offer some short-term hope but it ultimately led nowhere and often to a worse place. So-called spiritual teachers I’d put on a pedestal who I now discovered were not who they appeared to be — it was a shocking moment (and a lesson in itself) to see my once-idols exposed, but it was enlightening. Yes, it had been the blind leading the blind. But this new view led to freedom.

Going Up a Gear; Picking Up the Pace

My work, on the other hand, is not this. It’s not worldly. It’s not that surface level self-help either, which is just more of that in disguise. And so this moment of meaningless led me to giving everything to my work, which is all about connection with a Higher Power, because, in that moment it was my only hope. It’s funny how what should be the first choice of full reliance on a greater power than ourselves is rarely the first choice people make in life, instead choosing to follow the mind chatter of other people (or their own) for guidance.

The decks were cleared. For probably the first time ever, I was in that simplicity of just seeing one pathway ahead of me and it was time to take that all important Laozi-esque first step. I was no longer lost in spiritual seeking, rummaging through all the ideas. I had sound theory, and I now knew what to do and it was time to do it. It was time to go up a level. It was time to really appreciate the power of my work (or rather the work I had discovered, as people have explained the same approach for centuries and beyond). It was this powerful work which so many people were looking for, whether they knew it or not.

It’s Time For Action

Often, we don’t need so much knowledge, it’s about putting what we do know into practice. We do need to know the basics — and for that I recommend books such as my own (Emotional First Aid and Feel Better, No Matter What) — but after that, watching videos or studying can just be more procrastination and adding to the fog. It’s like that sales person reading a book about how to make a cold call when it’s really time to just pick up the phone. Or the potential bodybuilder reading books about weightlifting rather than just going to the gym and lifting. Sometimes there’s no avoiding it — it’s time for action.

Getting into a group is one of my favourite processes — but it’s got to be the right kind of group that understands the correct theory. We’ve all been to those manifesting workshops where no one seems to manifest much at all — and sometimes that’s OK but often it’s because they are following a faulty theory.

It’s OK to Feel How I Feel

There’s this new age myth that there’s a way to live life being happy all the time which not only sounds slightly boring, but as far as I know it’s never been done and nor would we want that, because it’s the out-of-the-comfort-zone moments that evolve us the best. The greatest of spiritual teachers throughout history experienced difficult emotions — so why do certain new age teachers seem to think they (or their readers) are above that?

Sometimes the workouts are small — and sometimes they are full on. Both are OK and in fact, the more strenuous ones are better, as they produce bigger gains.

It’s also perfectly OK to feel awful through these workouts. That’s OK. You don’t demand a bodybuilder to smile and look relaxed in their weightlifts — they often look as if they’re going through it, too. As I’ve taught time and time again, self-love is about being OK as best we can with the entirety of ourselves, not just the highlights.

Relaunching and Rebooting Your Life

Although we may not always enjoy them, it is these workouts that create the best of our lives. Trying to be being positive or happy all the time can be self-hatred in disguise, as no human has ever lived in that state as far as I know (even the great masters had their bad days). Instead it’s about dealing with the workout, it’s about taking the benefits and walking tall, even better than before.

To find out how empowering coaching packages can help you get results: www.michaeljames.be/consultations. Get your copy of Feel Better, No Matter What: www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Better-No-Matter-What/dp/1786784173/