When you are disconnected from your self-confidence, it’s a different story. You feel like a loser. You feel not good enough. You feel pessimistic. They become the “bad guys”.
But the prospective employers have done nothing different – their behaviour was the same in both examples. It’s all you. It’s all about whether you are standing tall or collapsing. It’s all about what channel you are tuned to. And that’s all that’s ever going on.
It’s like there’s two mirror images happening: one in which you are lost at sea, clinging to a mast, bedraggled and feeling finished – and the other you are standing tall and proud, like the Colossus, like God’s gift, a light unto the world, on top of a podium.
Very different perspectives – but both of these images are opposite sides of the same coin.
A champion in training
If you were to see a champion athlete moments after training you may see a wreck, rather than a hero. This is him working out. This is the making of the man. This is the creation of mastery. After he’d shifted his focus and taken time to relax, you’d see championship form again. Not in spite of but because of this training.
If you’ve had one of these dramatic collapses of your self-worth, it’s actually a good thing. You’ve been shown where you’ve got a weak muscle which needs attention, or it will only come up again. And so now it’s time to train, to prevent it being triggered again.
Ships in the harbour are safe, yes, but…
You are living life. And yes, there will be waves (storms of overthinking) and you may go under once in a while and that’s not a bad thing and there’s nothing wrong with clinging to the mast once in a while. In fact if you aren’t clinging to the mast sometimes, perhaps you’re not playing big enough; perhaps you’re still in your comfort zone? Perhaps you’re not pushing up the weights at the gym?
I remember doing a workshop and I asked the crowd “Who in the room is incredibly confident?” Just four people put their hands up and it was clear they were telling the truth; they seemed to have solid confidence. Then I asked those same few people “Who of you gets really, really insecure sometimes?” And all four hands stayed up – and each person seemed surprised that the others had their hand up.
This is what I know: I have met many powerhouses in terms of how they are living life. And I’ve never met a single person ever who doesn’t fit into this category of having both aspects within them – both the confident hero and the frightened child. It’s like trying to find a successful body builder who has never felt serious tension in his muscles. You won’t find one, ever. The opposite “shadow” feeling is what makes the other. The mast in stormy seas is the making of the Colossus.
The thought ambush
We all know that moment when the waves of fear or doubt threaten to take us under. Something triggers us and then the waves of thoughts seem to pounce on us and our immediate knee-jerk response is to go to war with them or run away. This approach rarely works, instead we get deeper into the storm of mind chatter.
In army manoeuvres, it’s interesting how you are taught to face and advance the ambush rather than run. Not fight it, but continue forward as if it’s not even there.
Advancing doesn’t mean fighting or resisting. It is more like ignoring, fully focused on the power that walks with you; the power of Reality; of your Real Self. It’s ignoring, but walking forward.
Walking forward with steadfastness
When you find yourself being taken over by these irritating (to say the least) thought forms, you want to firstly welcome them and secondly keep on going forward.
They are clouds. You are the Sun. They are nothing. You are solid. You have the power of Life walking through you and as you.
Running away gives fear thoughts power. Many people do this, they try to ignore something meaning “running away from it” meaning pushing against. This kind of “trying to ignore” is the opposite of ignoring – it’s denial – and brings on obsessing about the subject.
Walking forward anyway is authentic ignoring. Advancing means you don’t believe in the power of the thoughts. Retreating means you do. As we retreat, the fear gets more, not less. Retreating is resistance, in this context.
Stumbling… and then getting up again
However, we all need practice to master anything. That’s why the army have training sessions rather than going straight off to the front line. Life provides the training. And every time you fall, you become more focused, more resolute for the next time.
Stand tall and endure
This takes effort. Of course it does. Just like in a real-life ambush scenario, it would be “easier’ just to collapse and be taken by the enemy. But the price you’d pay would be massive; this tiny bit of effort is incredibly worthwhile and will save you the time having to get back on track again.
Standing tall initially takes more effort. But do it. Stand in your power. Hold on tight to the mast as the ship cuts through the waves of overthinking. Meditate. Stand tall like the Colossus, at first you may be standing tall and not feeling it – but soon enough the thrust of your Real Self will join you and you will be back on track, the wind will get behind your sales, the waves will leave you alone and you will be smiling again, left even better than before thanks to this “workout”.