Confidence – And Not Caring What Others Think Of You

When you are confident about something, it works out. I don’t mean hope; I don’t mean wishful thinking. I mean proper knowing; that walking tall feeling that signals that things are going your way. And yet this kind of confidence is not always easy to come by. Some people are born with it, others develop it by default – and yet more try to consciously create it.

Talent gets you so far, but that added level of confidence about your talent takes you up a gear. Unlike arrogance, which is just insecurity in disguise, confidence is the simple ease of being yourself.

What is Confidence?

Confidence is owning that you are already who you are wanting to be. You’ve got everything when you’ve got confidence, you don’t need anything from anyone, you have it all. And feeling fulfilled, you are very attractive.

Confidence is generosity. It’s being grateful for being you. It’s not about taking anything or attracting anything, it’s giving out a positive vibe. Why would you need to take anything if you had it all?

That’s why most personal development is lack – it’s not about having – it’s about trying to get. It’s the opposite of confidence. And it doesn’t work so well.

What Other People Think of You

When you seek approval or you adapt yourself because ‘what will the neighbours think’ – you are saying they are better than you. And here’s your choice: would you rather they get their ego offended or you be miserable? What you want is your approval, and that’s it. Your job is to love yourself (another way of saying to be confident), which will then overflow to others.

Instead of joining in the fight against ourselves (which is exactly what you do when you care about the opinions of others), we want to back ourselves up and champion ourselves rather than waiting for others to do it.

And so rather than being stopped in your tracks when you feel judged, you want to get excited about it. After all, all interesting people get judged. It’s a compliment and a nudge to encourage you to keep being you, no matter what.

Becoming Confident

We all start somewhere and there’s nothing wrong with lack of self-confidence or caring what other think – that’s a sometimes necessary workout to confidence which we all encounter. And so we want to accept wherever we are, because acceptance is the first step to change.

One of the best ways I know to develop confidence is a practice called the Confidence Evoke, which gets straight to the most important thing we can do. It’s where you practice a new level of confidence. What this practice does is get you to authentically embody that confident state more often. As you change your level of confidence, you change your life.

Discover the Confidence Evoke process and other empowering practices in Feel Better, No Matter What published by Watkins.